Before any movie is ever made, a script and a screenplay have to be written. Someone then has to read these two items and decide whether that movie sounds good enough on paper to be made into a real movie. Apparently this process was skipped completely in the production of Jennifer’s Body, directed by Karyn Kusama and written by Diablo Cody. Without a doubt, this is one of the worst movies ever made in almost every aspect. From the laughably bad storyline to the atrocious acting to even the grinding noise that is the soundtrack, it is hard to believe any person would even dream of seeing this film. But it is also where the movie excels. It is one of those rare gems that are so inexplicably bad, they can be entertaining at times.

The story follows the character of Needy Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfried) and her best friend Jennifer (Megan Fox) as the two experience what can only be described as true high school horror. The movie tries to create an interesting narrative by starting at the end of the film as Needy retells her story while in a mental institution. While seeing an indie band at a local bar, the two girls are caught in a fire. They escape, but sadly Jennifer is kidnapped by the band. The band takes her in order to perform an occult sacrifice that will rocket them to fame. Sadly, they needed to sacrifice a virgin and Jennifer wasn’t a virgin. This caused her to become a succubus, and must now feed on the souls and innards of hopeless boys in order to stay beautiful. It is actually as ridiculous as it sounds. Maybe there is a message that greed and the desire for fame will only lead to a demon ravaging a small town. Maybe the movie was trying to convey the power and dangers of friendship. Whatever the case, there was too much laughter to notice anything.

Even the movie itself was poorly made. Camera angles were bland and unimaginative. The movie virtually stayed on a wide angle the entire time with the one very noticeable exception of a close up involving the lips of the two female leads. The music in the movie was appalling. The songs were a series of indie songs that were unoriginal reproductions of songs that most people have already heard in movies. They were often played at very inappropriate times, too. In a scene where a mother is watching her eviscerated son being taken away in an ambulance, a loud techno pop song practically covers her sobbing. This isn’t an isolated occurrence either. This mismatch of music and mood is commonplace in Jennifer’s Body. Even the track syncing with the movie band and the songs they play doesn’t even come close to matching up. This is a minor detail, but it speaks a lot to how much effort actually went into this movie.

Jennifer’s Body has no idea what it’s trying to be. Is it meant to be comedy, playing upon the popularity of its star Megan Fox who takes a jab at the horror genre? Is it meant to be a serious horror flick that was supposed to make the audience fear indie bands and skinny hotties? No one can really make sense of it. The absurdity of the entire film has the audience laughing through a good portion of the movie. It’s easy to laugh at Megan Fox’s poorly delivered one-liners and the ingenious plot devices scattered throughout the film. However, for those with a short attention span, the ridiculous nature of the movie stops being cute and soon becomes unbearable to the point where the viewer begins to wonder why they ever paid money to see this movie. See it if you wish to see the marker of declining intellectual activity in Hollywood today. For everyone else, stay as far away as humanly possible.

Contact Will Hazzard at [email protected]