Crazy IM Softball Playoffs Continue on Whitnall

Paul Kasabian

A record-setting 36 Intramural softball teams have taken to Whitnall Field this week to participate in the playoff rounds, which will end next Monday. Names and teams as colorful as Killer Tofu, Warrior Poets, Budussy and the Biddies all strive for one goal, which is the right to get a free maroon T-shirt from the IM office and a $50 Gift Certificate to Slices. One would say that it is merely a cliché to call this playoff round life or death, but that is exactly what it is. Teams are in desperation mode to win at all costs at this time of the year. Here are the opening round results from the first two days of action and this writer’s prediction on who will win the whole thing.

Division I Championships: The 20-team bracket is filled with great depth and versaitility, as teams that got stuck playing in the opening round games are talented enough to make a run to the championship. Two of those teams are League D stalwarts Budussy and Easy Company. Budussy made mincemeat of Theta Chi B, 24-4, while Easy Company, which is made up of Colgate football players, appropriately beat the Brothers by a stereotypical football score, 21-7. Ironically, Colgate football beat Lehigh, 21-7 in the last home game of the year last season. One of the other opening round games featured another typical football score, 14-7. In that game, Sigma Chi B avenged a regular season loss to the Blazers by walloping them in the playoffs. In the last opening round game, Young Bull showed the depth of League D this season by squeaking out a game, 10-8 over winless League B participant, LNA, which lost a bunch of close games this year and was better than their record indicated.

Revenge was also the theme in the Warrior Poets/Out Tha Park round-of-16 playoff contest. The Warrior Poets, who had lost to Out Tha park, 17-13 in the regular season, showed everyone why they are the defending champs by beating this team, 20-9. The Mitchell Report All Stars, undefeated in league B Play, came back to win a close one over BDS, 12-10. In a battle of the frats, Phi Delt beat Beta 22-17 in the highest scoring game of the playoffs this far. In the most competitive contest of the year, the CU Hockey Sandlot All-Stars, which is composed of current sophomores and seniors on the varsity hockey team, scored one run in the bottom of the seventh inning to beat McBla$ters, a gutsy team of freshmen, 13-12. After the loss, Mike McMaster had this to say to the Maroon-News.

“Despite what the media has reported so far, I do not blame our shortstop Mike Naughton for our loss. And my teammates feel the same way. Ducks fly together.”

“It’s an outrage that the seeders put two such great teams in the first round of the playoffs together,” first-year and McBla$ters Harry Raymond said as he choked back tears. “It’s like putting Kansas and Memphis together in the first round.

In other news first round news, one-seed Phi Tau crushed Young Bull, 15-1 in four innings. In a battlke of the Sigma Chis, the resilient A team beat a tough B team, 10-7. Sigma Chi A has proven itself as a well-rounded team in this playoff round. Another A team from a frat, Tach A, offered one of the first big upsets of the year when they beat the high-powered Easy Company squad, 13-6. However, Budussy, the scariest team in the playoff round, is simply unstoppable. They have scored 114 runs in six games so far this season, and that number would be much higher if they didn’t mercy almost every team that they played thus far. The reason for their unbelievable firepower is their uncannt ability to hit the softball as if it’s a golf ball on Seven Oaks. Budussy also gets great respect for having the best jerseys in the league, which can’t be described in this paper for various reasons. They beat Shooter McGavin and Co, 20-7 in the rounf of 16, which is made up of varsity hockey members that are freshmen and juniors.

The quarterfinal round of the Division I Championships featured two classic games that will forever be remembered in IM lore. Phi Delt faced Tach A in one of these games. This contest was tied at 12 after seven innings, which meant that the teams were going to extras using international softball. Each team would start with a runner on second base to start the inning, but all of the other rules were the same. Tach A scored one run in the top half of the inning to take a 13-12 lead. Phi Delt also started with a runner on second base, but neither of the first two Phil Delt batters could capitalize. The last out came up to the plate and hit a fly ball to the outfield. The Tach A outfielder got a jump on the ball, outstretched his arm and the ball tipped just off his glove, narrowily missing a great WebGem. The runner from second base scored, and the game was tied at 13. The next Phi Delt batter hit a single to left field, and the kid who knocked in the game-winning RBI scampered around third base and touched home plate to win the game. It was an epic contest to say the least, but now Phi Delt has a rough challenge when they play Budussy in the semifinals today.

The other epic game took place on the diamond next to the Phi Delt game at exactly the same time. Sigma Chi A and the undefeated Mitchell Report All Stars took to the field for the right to fight in the semifinals. Mitchell Report took a 10-6 lead into the bottom of the last inning thanks to some timely hitting and defense. However, Sigma did not go down without a fight. Sophomore Stephen Morgan hit a two-run bomb over the centerfielder’s head, and senior Andrew Bevan also got a timely hit. Eventually, Sigma went on a two-out rally and cut the lead to one. The next Sigma Chi batter hit a low liner to left field, but it was just foul. On the next pitch, the batter evened out his hit a little better and drove in the tying run. The ext batter, senior Rob Linehan, hit a great line drive down the right field line to score the winning run. Mitchell Report captain Mike Nanna, who was not at the game because he was at a med school interview, had the following to say.

“The Mitchell Report All Stars will take on any teams and guarantee a win as long as Mike Nanna is on the field.”

Elsewhere, the Warrior Poets proved Matt Gentile’s senitments earlier in the season that they were strictly a playoff team, as they knocked off the one-seed in the quarterfinal round for the second straight season. This time around, they beat Phi Tau A, 12-6. On the opposite diamond, Budussy unbelievably shut-out the Sandlot All-Stars, 11-0. Budussy will face Phi Delt in the semifinals tomorrow. My prediction is that the unstoppable Budussy machine will defeat a pesky Warrior Poet squad in the finals on Monday.

Division II Championships

This 16-team bracket isn’t less competitive than the Division I bracket, as teams still want a piece of the Slices pie. One-seed Badness shutout the Natural Disasters, which is composed of members of the Colgate volleyball team, 10-0. 13-seed Killer Tofu decided not to show up for its game against Curtis United National for feat of embarrassing their opponents, so Curtis will move on to the quarterfinals. Continuing the trend of League D dominance, the third-seeded Hebrew Nationals walloped the Money Makers, 15-3, and the second-seeded Emperors Club VIP’s smashed Unforgiveable, 23-4. The Has Benz scored some runs in the bottom of the last inning to beat the Gamma Rays, 12-11. This is Austin defeated Sack Lunch, 15-11. This is not such a bad loss for Sack Lunch, for controversy may have caught up to them later on in the playoffs.

“Gordie Brummer has been a standout clean-up batter for Sack Lunch, and is also recognized as the only player that use pine tar in the league,” Sack Lunch sophomore captain Kevin McCrary told the Maroon-News.

The problem is that pine tar is not explicitly allowed by the league, but an investigation will not be held. The Oak Drive All-Stars beat a gutsy Counter Revolution team, 16-8, and the undefeated Derrty Byrdz continued their winning ways with a 18-2 win over the Biddies. In the quarterfinals, Badness will play the Has Benz, while Oak Drive will face Curtis. On the other side of the bracket, the Hebrews Nationals and This is Austin will meet, while the Derrty Byrdz will play the Emperor’s Club VIP’s. This writer predicts the Eliot Spitzer’s squad to beat Badness in the finals on Monday.