Minus the City – Thanksgiving Trysts

Erin Bergman & Kimmy Cunningham

First-years, this question is for you: How many of you returned home for Thanksgiving break and proceeded to knock boots with an old flame from high school? You are not alone. Upon our return to Colgate, we both sat down over warm cup of chamomile tea (straight tequila) and blurted the age-old phrase, “Oh my God, guess who I hooked up with?” Yup, you guessed it: Our ex-boyfriends. Three years later, both of us practice this behavior, which after four years becomes a habit. Like any other pattern of behavior, we decided to psycho-analyze our sex lives. For most of us, the person we dated before arriving at Colgate was the first person we truly cared about. Why do we risk crossing the line from friend to potential relationship (and the consequent awkwardness) merely to participate in a week of sexual charades? Well, folks, it’s fun.

These court sexual adventures can explain the long-standing tradition of finding a state school hottie in Cancun for spring break (not that we have…). The difference is that Cancun truly is no-strings-attached, while you still receive an invitation to the ex’s Thanksgiving party. The truth of the matter is that you’ve already figured out you don’t work as a couple, long distance blows, you want to be in different places after you graduate, he grew a soul-patch, etc. For whatever reason, you are not longer together. However, this does not mean that you do not enjoy each other’s company. Furthermore, you molded each other’s first sexual experiences and the sex will always be comfortable, if not mind-blowing.

That being said, given the student body’s sexual rigor, we assume you’ve learned a thing or two during your time at Colgate. Well, kids, share the wealth. Your partner does not need verbal details of the new trick you do with your tongue (“This nice frat boy taught me while Jell-O wrestling during Spring Party Weekend.”), but there’s no reason he/she should not reap the benefits. Furthermore, you’re close enough and hopefully have enough respect for each other to experiment without ridicule.

And that’s what it all comes down to; you do care about and respect each other. One of the most appealing differences between Cancun and home is that your relationship is more than just physical. Whether you like it or not, you really do care about one another. Thus, you get the comforts of being in a relationship for a week, but you’re not in the same city long enough to bicker. Or if you have the urge, you’d rather rip each other’s clothes of than nit-pick each other apart. And if you missed out on the fun over Thanksgiving break, fear not, you’ll be home again in two and a half weeks.