Minus the City – The Sexual Rut

Erin Bergman & Kimmy Cunningham

Here’s an experiment: sit at the Coop during rush hour and count the tables of girls who are complaining about the lack of decent men at Colgate. Believe me, you will lose count by quarter of. And don’t worry, by the beginning of second semester, the first-years will be bitching too. Ladies (and gentlemen, I’m sure), we’ve all been there. Whether you’ve gone a semester without sex or you have intentionally forgotten the names of your last five hook-ups, the “sexual rut” is as integral a part of the Colgate social scene as the Jug.

Cross our hearts, we’re not trying to be “high and mighty,” “holier than thou,” “I can get into the Bacon,” etc., but we’ve each had our fair share of sexual exploits (and exploitations) over the past four years and have learned a thing or two. For the most part, people find a crew and stick to it, whether they’re looking for friendship or to hook up (let’s be honest, most friend groups are pretty incestuous). The key is to think outside the box, or about other boxes.

So let’s make some new playdates, or, if you’re lucky, maybe even a sleepover. First, throw out the notion that the boy has to be older. Ladies, if you live by this maxim, you will have a sad senior year. And believe us, the title of, “senior” is not necessarily synonymous with “mature.” So take a stroll through Cutten or Andrews and try to make new friends. We’re advising this within reason; if you can get into the Bacon, you probably should not be pursuing people who cannot get into the Jug. This goes for you too, boys.

That being said, if you want to stay within your age bracket, there is still hope. There are plenty of opportunities to meet people your own age you never knew existed. For CAB’s benefit, get involved. That also being said, it’s not as though either of us has found a romantic interest through an activity. However, we do have a few more tried and true techniques. We’ve found that the key to meeting new people oftentimes involves using the people you already know. So create a few more degrees of separation.

So let’s say your roommate is on the Ski Team. Even if the closest you’ve ever been to skiing was sitting at the lodge bar, go to a Ski Pub. Maybe you do not have the time or interest to join a new activity, use your friends as resources. Roommates can be excellent matchmakers.

Ok, so your roommates’ idea of a social activity is playing Xbox Live with a seven-year-old in California and a 44-year-old in Bangladesh. This is not an excuse to fly solo over the next few years. Grow a pair. Even if you pit out at the idea of talking to a girl, take a shot of tequila and approach your object of affection. Don’t worry, we’re not throwing you into the lion pit solo. Get a group of your bros or your ladies and head over to a preferably good-looking group of conquests. Because you are in a group, it may seem less intimidating to propose a “girls vs. boys” game of flipcup, darts, Beirut, fu?ssball, spin the bottle, etc.

Not that there is anything wrong with being single, but if it’s getting old, or you’re just a little horny, these tips might be worth exploring if you’re looking for a more quality hookup.

*Shameless Plug: if anyone has a marginally attractive male friend who is good with his hands and/or enjoys giving massages, our numbers are