By David Minster, Senior Sports Manager

So who’s it going to be? Are you going to tango with Tom Brady, ballroom dance with Lonzo Ball or possibly even waltz with Wentz? If I were blessed enough to be on “Dancing With The Stars” season 27, I would pick none other than the greatest female tennis player of all time: Serena Williams. Although she was sidelined with a gruesome foot injury in 2010, she has proven time and time again that she is an unstoppable force on the court, and hopefully this would translate over to the dance floor. She currently holds the record for most Grand Slam titles in singles, doubles and mixed, so adding the DWTS Mirrorball Trophy to her collection should only strengthen her case for greatest American athlete of all time. Williams won the 2017 Australian open while pregnant with her daughter Alexis, and if that’s not the pinnacle of sports brilliance, then I don’t know what is. 

However, I wouldn’t pick Serena to be my dance partner solely for her winning mentality. Her footwork is a work of art, painting a beautiful Picasso on every rally; she could easily make the move from world-class tennis player to world-class dancer. But it’s her sheer strength that makes her a DWTS contender. She will be able to lift me over her head with relative ease (if I lay off the Slices, am I right? hahaha) and we will waltz home with the trophy.

 

By Jake Rosenstein, Maroon-News Staff

There are many athletes who would make for a potentially fantastic dance partner, with many athletes already appearing on the show “Dancing with the Stars.” Several NFL hall of famers including Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith and Warren Sapp have proven that professional football players know how to dance. Despite this, the NFL training regimen is not conducive to extra activities so a footballer would not be the top choice. Baseball players would no doubt have the best timing and rhythm of the four major U.S. sports; hitting a 95-mile per hour fastball takes focus, something integral to a good dance partner. Hockey players on the other hand have excellent dexterity and are light on their feet. However, most hockey players are not nimble enough to dance adequately. NBA players would seemingly have the most poise on the dance floor, as a plié and a jump shot are not all that different.

My choice for the optimal dance partner from one of the four major U.S. sports is Golden State Warriors point guard Steph Curry. He possesses all of the traits one would want in a dance partner, while also adding his charm and likeability. Firstly, he is not so tall as to make for a clumsy dancer. He is selfless enough in his basketball playing career (6.8 assists per game) that it may translate to a fair division of the spotlight. Curry, having already won two championships in his young career, is accustomed to doing whatever it takes to win. My number one attribute in a dance partner is the drive to win. If I partnered with LeBron, he would most likely switch partners after our first misstep. Therefore, I’m sticking with Steph.

 

By Theo Asher, National Sports Editor

For me, this was a tough call. Do I go with Cristiano Ronaldo, arguably one of the greatest soccer players of all time and a magician with his feet? Do I choose a handle-god, like Curry, Harden or Irving? All of these would certainly have been capable allies on the dance floor, but my go-to DWTS partner has to be running-back for the Pittsburgh Steelers Le’Veon Bell.

A critical fact to acknowledge here is that NFL athletes run the celebrity half of

“Dancing with the Stars.” In the 25 seasons DWTS has been on the air, nine times a football player has finished in the top-three, even though not every season has had an active or retired NFL athlete. Football players simply have the best footwork, rhythm and motivation required to perform at an elite level on primetime. 

Why Le’Veon? Simply put, there is no better do-it-all running-back in the NFL right now. Last season, Bell rushed for 1,291 yards and nine touchdowns in fifteen games. He is known for his poise in hostile situations, demonstrated by his exceptional patience behind the line of scrimmage. Bell has impeccable vision and explosiveness with the ball in his hands. This feature of his football profile would translate beautifully onto the dance floor, as learning intricate choreography under duress is a hallmark of the competition. 

Bell is one of the more artistically expressive athletes in the sports today. You may not be aware, but his rap alias, Juice, has been racking up listens on SoundCloud for years. Juice spits absolute bars in the studio, as evidenced by the smashing success of his debut album “Post Interview” in 2016. Bell is fearless in the studio, going so far on occasion as to roast his own Steeler teammates. Bell’s audacity, combined with his proven deftness on the field and in the studio, would make him a magnificent partner for DWTS. Now – get some Four Loko and a year’s-worth of performance enhancing drugs in David Minster and we’ll have a real debate on our hands.