Minus the City: (Un)Dress to Impress



Sara Steinfeld

So, Valentine’s Day was on a Tuesday this year. This truly sucks for single people like myself; I couldn’t even have a ro­mantic romp in the Jug to make up for the fact that I don’t have a man in my life. However, based on the stories that I’ve heard from this past weekend, it seems like all the single ladies I know were, in fact, not trying to have a ring put on the ever-elusive “it.” We were simply running around ice-cold Hamilton making complete fools out of ourselves in even more foolish clothing.

Well, there was my obligatory Valentine’s Day reference. Now on to what I actually want to talk about.

I don’t know how many of you went out this past week­end, considering we were undergoing a short-lived, yet ex­tremely brisk, temporary Ice Age à la last winter, but the majority of Colgate’s population was dressed like complete idiots, myself included. I’m not judging, I’m simply stating a fact in order to further my point. After all, considering I spent one night wearing neon pink spandex shorts with paint all over my face and the next wearing a bed sheet and shoelaces (jeez, it sounds even weirder in writing), I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to judge anyone’s outfit ever again. But I digress.

Maybe it’s because we all feel the need to justify our ri­diculous outfits by getting ridiculously drunk (that some­how makes it okay, right?), or maybe it’s because we’re so comfortable in whatever we’re wearing that we all act like the people from Animal House (if only). Whatever the reason, I’ve never met a single person that hasn’t hooked up with someone whenever they were wearing the most absurd outfit imaginable. After all, guys like it when girls run around wear­ing sports bras and knee braces, right? Well…it seems to work for me, but whatever, maybe it’s not for everyone.

What’s more is that I always hear the best stories from nights when everyone’s dressed in their Halloween-esque best. For example, my friends and I have gotten into the habit of making “goals” for ourselves on any given night out. While we sometimes get lucky (pun kind of intended), more often than not our nights end up veering off in some unexpected direction and our goals vanish, unachieved. However, it’s only on nights that we’re all dressed to the nines in gym clothes and trash bags adorned with glitter and wrapping paper that we seem to get exactly what we want. Is this Colgate’s way of telling me that we should never actually try to look appealing when we go out? And that it’s totally socially acceptable to wear shorts in the middle of winter? Because who doesn’t like being comfy while getting with the exact person you wanted to? I know I can’t speak for everyone at this school, but I per­sonally really enjoy it.

Maybe this can relate back to Valentine’s Day; if you have a certain special someone in your life already, feel free to stop reading here. For those of you who are in love with that hottie down the hall or simply want to wrangle any frat bro your little heart desires, here’s my advice that, based on my experience, works every time. Firstly, dress like an idiot. If you don’t want to do that, then at least be comfortable. You love the way you feel in your pajamas, right? Share that love with the rest of the Colgate community. After all, every guy loves a girl who loves herself…or something like that. And secondly, make goals for yourself. You never know what you can achieve if you set your mind to it, and you never know what six drinks can achieve for you. Just saying.

On that note, I hope you can fill your post-Valentine’s Day weekend with the love you’re looking for, and I espe­cially hope that you heed my advice and dress to impress. You never know when Mr. Right could show up, and maybe he likes his ladies dressed in togas. That’s what love is all about right? Accepting another person’s love for togas? No? Well, close enough.

Contact Sara Steinfeld at [email protected]