Trying to find a suitable hook up here at Colgate is much the same as applying to colleges or for my fellow seniors finding a job. We all know Colgate is an extremely small place, making overlaps amongst our peers a frequent occurrence. Just like when we applied to college, the pool of potential schools got smaller and smaller as application deadlines got closer. I find, as a senior girl that the funds of men on campus get smaller and smaller each year, just like the number of potential colleges.
When I first began looking at colleges it seemed like everybody wanted a piece of da Vikster.
You could be selective at first, and then reality hit and you found out everybody else was looking at Colgate too (thank God I’m from the Midwest or I’d really be screwed).
Then the next day you hear that Sally is also applying to Colgate. Well now you definitely can’t apply there for two reasons: 1) you don’t want to be compared to her and 2) she’d get mad at you if she knew you were talking to Gary Ross too. Let’s not even get started on the idea of Sally knowing you went for an overnight stay. So there goes Colgate off the list.
It’s much the same way with the dating pot here at Colgate. As a girl you come in freshman year and the world is your oyster (unfortunately for guys you’re not so lucky, but don’t worry each year gets better for you). As the semesters go by the pot slowly shrinks, until you hit senior year. Finding a guy who wasn’t born in the 90s, or hasn’t hooked up with at least ten of your close friends is like trying to find a job during the recession (and my money’s on find a job or at least an unpaid internship). Meanwhile, it seems like all your guy friends are having the best of luck. Well it’s true, they are. While the number of potential formal dates shrinks for you, his number grows. So you’re left with two choices: 1) join the jungle of cougars out there and wait until pledging is over or 2) piss off a couple of friends (you won’t see them after graduation anyway).
I’m not here to give you ladies any advice because to be honest, I don’t have any solution to this problem. If anybody out there does, just e-mail me and I’ll post it in next week’s “how to.” I just keep telling myself that after this year, once again the world will be my oyster, and my fellow guy friends will be back at the bottom. Out in the real world girls aren’t impressed by what fraternity you’re in or what sports you play. Then again, the wrinkles and grays should be coming in soon. Oh well, there’s always Botox and hair dye.