I think I’ve been an anxious person my whole life, but it’s only recently that I’ve worked on coming to terms with my anxiety and how it shapes my thoughts and experiences. I’m not a poster child for how to handle anxiety, because I tend to internalize my anxiety and have invested way too much of my energy over the years trying to bury it down deep. But I’m here to tell you that even professors who seem to have their stuff together may be anxious. And it’s time for our community to share, support and collectively thrive in an academic environment where anxiety is prevalent. 

Do a quick web search for anxiety, how to define it and its symptoms, and you will find many pages that discuss the impact of high levels of stress and the consequent effect on a person’s ability to live a healthy and full life. Some sources also list the benefits of anxiety, such as the potential to anticipate risks and respond to them with foresight and readiness. My metaphor for anxiety is the immune system, because in addition to being an anxious person, I also have some random allergies, including to fruits such as apple, banana, mango and — especially — the dreaded grapefruit. I break out in hives and can be miserable for weeks if I eat grapefruit or even use a soap with it as an ingredient. Am I glad I have an immune system for defense against germy invaders? Absolutely. But why does it have to go overboard when it comes to grapefruit? 

My anxiety is like that: a frenemy that I often struggle to balance, especially in contexts that induce stress, doubt and shame. I’ve worked in recent years to understand more about myself, my personal history and the contexts in which I am most vulnerable to anxiety. I’d like to share some insights that I hope may be helpful to others facing anxiety as well as those who may wish to understand and support the anxious among us. Here goes.

First, anxiety is a treatable condition. I pop a Lexapro every morning and worked with a therapist for two years. My therapist helped me understand more about my background and what makes me tick when it comes to my anxious mind. Therapy gave me new tools to think through situations and ask myself, “Why is this making me anxious?” Neither medications nor therapy are a cure, but they have each allowed me to better control my anxiety and see it as one dimension of me and not a defining feature (yes, like “Inside Out 2”!). I strongly urge anyone struggling with anxiety to seek support. Please go back and read that last sentence again. And see below for some resources to help you in this journey.

Second, it’s ok to be anxious sometimes. Many of us will go through times of intense stress that may trigger anxiety and even panic. That’s not fun, but it can be normal, especially in the context of a “highly selective” liberal arts environment like ours. Try not to feel inadequate or guilty when you feel anxious, and don’t try to bottle it up. I’ve come to realize that there are certain times of the year when I’m going to have more stress and higher anxiety, and it helps to be mindful both that those seasons will come and that they will pass. At the same time, the support I describe above is essential for weathering periods of anxiety.

Third, anxiety is pervasive and feels very real, but it’s not always rational. Anxious people worry about things that often don’t make sense to others, just like it doesn’t make sense that my body freaks out from exposure to grapefruit. We each have unique personal histories that may serve as triggers for anxiety, and this can sometimes make it hard to understand or empathize with someone when you don’t share their background, personality or disposition. So when talking with an anxious person, it does not always help to counter anxious thoughts with facts, counterexamples, or troubleshooting. Instead, anxious people benefit from opportunities to share how they are feeling. Asking questions such as, “What are you feeling?”, “Where did that come from?” and “Can you tell me more?” allow anxious people to share their feelings without the expectation that their anxiety is a problem to be solved. At the same time, anxious people should be aware that processing anxiety can be emotionally draining — and even contagious for others — and beware laying too many expectations on a sympathetic friend or colleague for continued support. Seek treatment and professional support for persistent anxiety.

Fourth, anxious people deserve help in their struggle. One of my own biggest challenges when first seeking support was a nagging doubt about whether my anxiety was a legitimate concern. I am fortunate to have a very good life in many ways, with an immense set of privileges. How could my anxiety be worthy of note, especially in a world with so many overwhelming challenges? Again, this is where my therapist helped me to see that I did not need to suffer through my anxiety in silence; I needed not only to seek help but to accept it. We are a community of high achievers who have in many cases succeeded by “powering through” and ignoring pain. But vulnerability requires a strength of its own, one that I found hard to deploy. Anxious people: you deserve support and a set of tools to help you cope and thrive. Please take advantage of these resources for help.

For students: Colgate has four offices focused on student health and wellness, all detailed on the University’s website. Taking care of yourself via good sleep, nutrition and other dimensions of wellness can have an important impact on anxiety, and the resources listed at the link above can help you achieve a good balance. In addition, students may seek spiritual and counseling support from the Office of the Chaplains.

For staff and faculty: consult the resources online that Colgate provides its employees. The Employee Assistance Programs offer multiple sources of support for counseling, wellness and recommendations for care providers. These resources are included in Colgate employee benefit packages. For support related to workplace experiences of discrimination, prejudice, harassment or inequity, contact Colgate’s Office of Equity and Diversity.