Last weekend, I actually woke up feeling like P. Diddy. Yes, friends, yours truly hit up a KE$HA concert. Although I didn’t wake up in a bathtub, my skin was evenly coated in glitter, my face looked like someone melted down makeup and ladled it onto my face and my hair stuck together like un-oiled spaghetti. Bouncing back to life – even a week later – continues to be a struggle. I know I’m not the only one who’s ever felt this way. How can a kid rejoin the living after a night of shenanigans? I’ve got a five step plan to make it happen.

The first step to recovery is to shower repeatedly. This is absolutely crucial especially if, like me, you found yourself surrounded by glitter-armed ravers. I also recommend this plan to anyone who recently attended a post-thunder storm fraturday or an EDM music festival. Messy events like these will undoubtedly have you covered in feathers, glow-in-the-dark highlighter, mud or all three. In order to lose that confetti, soak up some soap and cleanse your body. If all else fails, go outside and power wash yourself. I’m not joking.

Second, rehydrate and hibernate. Think of this plan as a follow-up to the previous night’s “nap and rally” mentality. No matter how invincible you might be, you still have internal organs to maintain. So give your body the rest it needs and sleep. It also helps to keep a full cup of Emergen-C and water by your bedside. Throwing yourself back into the grind immediately might seem more productive, but in the long term, this approach will have you crashing.

Third, locate your dignity. Letting loose is ridiculously fun, but there are consequences to every action. If you find yourself discouraged by those texts from last night, or just can’t justify that black eye, never fear. You can redeem yourself! Remember that your twenties are a decade for life lessons and so long as you learn from those blunders, you’ll be OK. In the wise words of Mimi from RENT, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” This doesn’t mean you can go out there and make endless mistakes, but cut yourself a bit of slack.

Fourth, make a pact to take the next few weekends down a notch. Life is all about balance, and if you go out every time your friends text an invite, you will not make it to the end of the semester. For all of you who can party-marathon, I salute you. To the rest of you, do not be a hero. Even if you have a chronic case of FOMO (fear of missing out), realize that staying in every so often is better than burning out in November.

Last, hit the gym. Exercising is the last thing on any kid’s Monday-mind, but it’s a solid way to go. Sweating out those toxins will rejuvenate your skin and replace tired thoughts with happy endorphins. Moreover, working out at Trudy is a great way to parallel play with other weekend warriors. The company will remind you that you’re not alone and help re-socialize you into the moving, breathing world. That’s all I’ve got for this week! Until next time, you stay sassy, Colgate.

Contact Shannon Gupta@[email protected].