Minus the City – College Kamasutra

Allie Geiger

It seems like the college life is ideally suited for having copious amounts of insane sex. There are approximately two full length mirrors in every freshman dorm room. If that doesn’t lend itself to vaguely kinky sex, then I don’t know what does. Those tiny slivers of beds that come standard in each dorm are not ideally suited towards getting your game on, however. Thus, to make your sex life better, easier and less cramped, I have taken it upon myself to provide you with the college kama sutra.

A lot of the beds on this campus are lofted something fierce for storage purposes. Perhaps you have noticed that some of them are approximately waist height. If you have not noticed this, the beds are, in fact, adjustable to waist height. Suggestion: you should probably adjust this whilst clothed and still thinking straight, not at the moment you are thinking of trying this position. This height ‘coincidence’ means, gentlemen, that if you were inspired to have your lady friend lie on her back, legs dangling off of the bed or resting on your shoulders, your access to her bits would be very, very good. This can be done either off the end of the bed, or if she is short, bisecting the bed widthwise. With one person off the bed, there is a lot more room for wiggling and thrusting and whatnot. Huzzah for sex geometry!

For those beds that are not lofted, there is a very good way to make use of it’s proximity to the ground. This time, the male partner should lie on his back, towards the edge of the bed with his feet firmly planted on the ground. This will provide the woman with a fantastic ‘reverse cowgirl’ opportunity. She should also put her feet on the ground, which means better control and balance, and, therefore, sex. This can also used be for plain ol’ woman on top, but really, why waste an opportunity?

Additionally, there are several variations on ‘doggy’ style that are extremely conducive to single beds. If one were to be on her hands and knees and scoot towards the edge of the bed, her partner could stand behind her and assume the “Captain Morgan” position. I’ll leave the other variations to your imagination, but I’m sure with the proper sort of inspiration, you’ll figure them out right quick.

These last two positions avoid the bed in its entirety. A lot of people have chairs with no legs and roundish bottom that are marketing for ‘video game’ playing. If we want to be honest with ourselves, we would admit that this is just a piece of sex furniture. I would highly recommend surprising your favorite gamer with some carnal relations in the rocking “video game” chair next time he sits down for a little Mario Kart. Just take off his pants, straddle him and go for the gusto. Boys, it would be proper etiquette (i.e. if you ever want to get laid again) to turn off the video game for the main event.

My final position is only for people living in townhouses, as I would never recommend of doing it in public. The townhouses are the only dorms with private-ish laundry facilities. While the laundry is on the spin cycle, an intrepid young lady might sit on it, legs dangling off the edge with her young man between her knees. The added vibrations will really amp up the sensations of the act.