This Week in Movies: The Bank Job

The Bank Job is the best heist movie to come along since…well…I don’t know…the last good movie that featured a heist. Let’s not worry about comparisons though. The Bank Job is a very good film and a pleasant surprise among the flurry of crap that has recently presented itself in theatres. Kind of like a diamond in the rough, if you will, or a good looking girl at a Star Wars convention.

Jason Statham stars as Terry Leather, a family man and small time con living in London. When former flame Martine Love (Saffron Burrows) tips him on a seemingly easy bank hit, he can’t help but say yes, especially since he is in serious trouble with some debt collectors. So Leather gets together a small group of cons and they set up a perfect operation to rob a bank on Baker Street. Everything goes according to plan until they find out they stole more than just money and jewelry; namely, a massive list of corrupt police officers that had been receiving funds from club owner/pimp Lew Vogel for years as well as scandalous nude photos of Princess Margaret. This gets Leather and his fellow cons on the hot list of Vogel, who wants blood, as well as Military Intelligence (MI5), who need to get hold of the pictures before the media does. On top of all that, throw in the dangerous antics of militant black leader Michael X (Malcolm’s third cousin’s college roommate twice removed) and you have a compelling plot that unwraps into a chaotic mess of betrayal, greed and murder.

The biggest reason this film succeeds is genuine believability. This is for two reasons. One, it’s not animated. And two, it’s based on a true story. That’s right, it all really happened. I don’t think the imagination could create a plot as intense as the one featured in The Bank Job. Well, I probably could, and probably Alfred Hitchcock, but other then that, frickin’ nobody! I’m talking real people, a real bank heist, real murders and women with real breasts (I think). If you want real, it doesn’t get any more real than this, baby.

And did I mention there is an actual bank heist? I know, I know, I explained it in the plot summary. And I know, the movie is actually called The Bank Job, but titles can be deceiving. Ever seen Alpha Dog? Not one canine in the entire film.

But as I was saying, there is a heist! How can you not want to see a movie with a heist? Name one bad movie that features a heist. You can’t, because there isn’t one. Whenever in doubt, remember that heist equals good. Bank heist equals very good.

And who is leading the heist in this film? Jason Statham, the transporter himself. This guy kicks butt in every movie he is in.

Don’t like what you hear overall? That’s understandable. You are reading a newspaper, not listening to someone speak. So the real question is, don’t like what you read overall? After the brilliant review I just delivered, I don’t see how this is possible. In the words of Reading Rainbow’s LeVar Burton, “You don’t have to take my word for it…,” it’s in theatres. Now imagine little children holding up the cover of the movie and telling you how awesome it is. Actually, it’s rated R, so never mind. Thumbs up.