This Week in Movies: 27 Dresses

Despite the fact that I am absolutely horrible at math, I have always enjoyed films with numbers like Se7en, 12 Angry Men and 101 Dalmatians. While I cannot say that 27 Dresses is going to be nestled on my DVD rack any time soon (then again, recently I almost purchased Hitch), it was not by any means a torture to watch. In fact, there were a few moments during the film where I caught myself smiling. Luckily, it was dark and no one saw me, but I smiled nonetheless. Sorry for having a soul.

The story revolves around Jane who is played by Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up, Grey’s Anatomy). She is young, hot and, of course, somehow single. I know, hard to believe, right? I wish for once they would make a romantic comedy about a girl who is old, unattractive and who has a serious boyfriend. I can only imagine. Actually, I don’t want to imagine that. Forget I ever said it.

Anyway, Jane has a strong affinity for weddings. She has been to 27 of them as a bridesmaid, hence 27 Dresses. Personally, I think the movie would have been better off being called 28 Dresses, or possibly 30. 27 is just not pushing the buttons for me. Can you imagine if 300 were called 297 or 299? Exactly my point. Anyhow, Jane is slightly depressed that all these other people are getting married but not her. Cry me a freakin’ river. Her boss at work, George (Edward Burns), is oblivious to the fact that she is in love with him and to make matters worse, her cute sister Tess (Malin Akerman) comes to town and starts dating George. I know, what a skanky little ho, right?

Nothing seems to be going right for Jane. Imagine having to watch your sister date the man you love. All hope seems to be lost until, you guessed it, her knight in shinning armor, Kevin, arrives. He is not really a knight and he does not really wear armor; he wears Levi’s. It’s a metaphor. How awesome would it be though if it really was a knight in armor and he rode around on a horse and just stabbed criminals with his sword? Anyway, a guy named Kevin arrives in the form of Jason Marsden. You might remember him from the X-Men Trilogy as Cyclops, or as some dude in Hairspray. I did not see Hairspray, though. No, really, I’m serious. I did not see it, alright?

As I was saying, all hope is lost until Kevin arrives. At first, Jane hates Kevin’s guts. He is mean, cynical and downright creepy. She leaves her date book in a taxi with him and he writes his name and phone number in dozens of pages. Then he mails her flowers at work. The guy is about two steps from becoming Jeffrey Dahmer. Somehow though, she isn’t all that creeped out. That is the difference between movies and reality. In real life, the guy has an eye patch and a hook for a hand and the girl has to file a restraining order. But that isn’t the case in this film.

Kevin and Jane develop a love/hate relationship and, like in most movies, stuff happens. They end up getting together and getting drunk at a bar and, a la Cameron Crowe, lead a group of people in the singing of an Elton John song. After that, there is conflict, and a big climax and blah blah blah…I don’t want to give away the exact details. If you are female you will enjoy this movie. And if you are a guy getting dragged along on a date, you might enjoy it a little as well, even if you don’t want to admit it. Two thumbs up.