After their most recent foray into the world of investigative journalism in the November 14 issue of the Maroon-News, Professor Carlsmith’s Quantitative Methods class has decided to yet again offer their statistically supported, psychological theories on the world to the greater Colgate community. This being said, we have some useful information for those among you who love chocolate chip cookies. And for those who don’t, we have some excellent suggestions for where you should get started. These suggestions are the result of some serious lab hours put in by every member of the class as they labored for an entire class period, trying cookie after cookie, meticulously rating them for overall quality. Who ever said that psychology majors don’t do any science?

After performing a blind taste on nine different types of chocolate chip cookies (eight ‘Brands’ and one homemade) in an attempt to determine an overall price/quality correlation, this author from PYSC 309 has a few suggestions for those of you looking to pair your finals coffee with a sweet something extra: For those connoisseurs of baked chocolate delight, interested in only the finest chocolate chip cookies, you should head to either the Barge or (a surprise to some) the Coop. However, if you like chocolate chip cookies and are looking for a cookie that gives you the most quality for your dollar, direct your mouth and glass of whole milk towards the brand that promises one thousand chips in every blue bag: Chips Ahoy (original).

A thorough statistical analysis of the quality ratings from our taste test revealed some interesting findings (well, interesting to statistically inclined, cookie-loving pysch majors). The one that surprised this budding psychologist the most was the performance of the Coop cookie. While I love that double chocolate chip brownie cookie to death (it’s the best thing the Coop does next to early risers and Dano’s double burger bar) and I’m growing more and more dejected as being an upperclassmen living down the hill limits my time to indulge in this decadence, it is wicked hella, (insert other regional superlative here) expensive! Or so I thought. I was absolutely positive that this cookie would grossly underperform its quality for what it costs. Surprise, surprise, though, it turns out that the difference from the actual quality rating and the predicted quality rating is not statistically significant. You know what that means? This college cookie monster can enjoy one in fiscally sound state of mind.

Another great quality cookie performance to note was that of the Barge’s cookie. To those who prepare these lovely treats over at the Barge Canal and Coffee Company, prepare to pat yourselves on the back. Though the actual average rating of the quality was second to the Coop, the Barge cookie costs much less and a statistical analysis of this difference revealed no significance! This means that the apparent difference found during this taste test are so small that you can actually consider their ratings the same. That being said, we cookie lovers should raise our milk glasses to the Barge for delivering us a cookie with superior quality at an excellent value. This author will certainly give his own dairy homage to the little guy for standing up to a corporate giant like Sodexho. Now, has anybody seen a napkin? I have a major mustache to wipe off.