Listen Up John Kerry, These Are 10 Tips Your Campaign Could Use

Well, John Kerry, your campaign is in a serious rut. Americans aren’t responding to your message, and you haven’t articulated a clear vision for your presidency. However, don’t be alarmed, Dr. Dan is going to give you 10 quick steps to remedy you ailing campaign. 10. Brush up your stump speech. John, how can I put this nicely, listening to you speak is only slightly more entertaining than watching the grass grow. View films of President Clinton’s speeches. What Clinton can convey in two minutes would take you 20 minutes. You need to be more direct and concise in your stump speech. Finally, you need to open up to the American public. Most people don’t know you as anything but a really rich Senator from Massachusetts. Go on 60 Minutes and tell Mike Wallace your inner-most fears. 9. Make Edwards more visible. I hate to break it to you, John, but John Edwards is more attractive, more personable and is a better speaker than you. He needs to take on a greater public role in the campaign. I understand that you don’t want to get upstaged, but John, seriously, he’s more likable than you. Your campaign needs to exploit the fact that Dick Cheney is a heartbeat away from the presidency. People don’t like Cheney. He’s mean, he’s ugly and he’s creepy. Edwards is friendly, good-looking and cheery. Enough said. 8. Enough with Vietnam. Senator Kerry, you’re beating a dead horse. Everybody knows by now that you’re a war hero from Vietnam. People understand that your service was honorable. They also know that President George W. Bush used his father’s influence to obtain a position in the National Guard. Enough is enough. Your emphasis on your war record is detracting from the issues and is giving Republicans an opening for distortions and attacks. 7. What are you plans, John? You need to seriously outline a domestic policy agenda for your presidency. Failing to do that at the Democratic National Convention was a huge mistake. Most people want to know what you will do to help reduce their health care costs, or how will you help keep social security alive. Yes, you have fancy proposals written on your website, but most voters will probably never see your stinking website, much less these proposals. 6. Answer all of the accusations. You never countered the Swift Boat ads until it was too late. After the very first time the ads aired, you should have gone on all of the national news programs to defend yourself. President Clinton was masterful because he immediately answered every attack and every hint of controversy. When a woman by the name of Jennifer Flowers said she slept with Clinton, his campaign immediately put Bill and Hillary on 60 Minutes to refute the claims. 5. Iraq: What’s the Deal? You need to hammer the irrefutable fact that Iraq is in chaos and our administration is just sitting back and waiting until after the election to launch an attack on the insurgents. The administration went to war with Iraq without a clear plan to win the peace, and now we’re left with a mess. Johnny, you need to hit on this issue. 4. Are we any safer? No!!! George W. Bush decided at the Republican Convention that he wants this campaign to be about the War on Terror and the safety of Americans. After all, his administration clearly wants us to be very fearful in these few weeks before the election. So, Senator Kerry, you need to ask the question: are we a safer America thanks to the Bush Administration? The answer is a resounding “no.” The Iraq War diverted precious resources away from our struggle in Afghanistan and provided al-Qaeda the chance to regroup. Our borders, ports, chemical factories and power plants remain grossly neglected by an administration that doesn’t understand the importance of securing our infrastructure. We are not safer, and John Kerry, you need to make people understand this. 3. It’s the economy, stupid! Battleground states like Ohio and West Virginia are seeing rough economic figures lately. In Ohio, the unemployment rate is at 5.9 percent, compared with the national average of 5.4 percent. People need to remember the good old days of the Clinton/Gore era where the economy was moving at lightening quick speed. Much of the groundwork for the boom Nineties was laid by the Clinton economic plan in 1993, which passed without a single Republican vote in the Senate. When the Democrats were in power, the economy was better. You need to make this clear to voters. 2. Hit ’em hard and hit ’em often. You’re not going to be president by playing the role of “Mr. Nice Guy.” This administration has no record of merit to run on. Their economic plan isn’t working, Iraq is in chaos and many believe that al-Qaeda is strengthening. These are vulnerabilities that must be exploited. Tell the American people, in plain English, that George W. Bush has made the wrong decision countless times over the past three and a half years. Tell them that George W. Bush doesn’t care about the regular folks and is only looking after his wealthy friends. Direct and clear hits are essential in your campaign 1. The Vision Thing. By vision, I’m not speaking of specific policy proposals, foreign or domestic. I’m talking about how you do want history to remember your presidency. Your “Help is on the way” slogan just isn’t compelling enough. You need to articulate your vision for America under a John Kerry administration. Jimmy Carter ran for president telling the American public that he would never lie to them. Ronald Reagan ran on a ticket of optimism and traditional values in a time when America was in a state of malaise. George H.W. Bush ran as a “kinder, gentler” Republican and Bill Clinton told us that he felt our “pain.” What are you going to do, Senator Kerry? Give us something to believe in. Give us a plan for a better America. So there you have it, Senator. Get your act together. Millions of Americans are counting on you to end this nightmare of a presidency. We need to stand strong and help working people. We need you to provide legitimate leadership, as former soldier, for our current troops in Iraq. Above all, we need you to give us an administration of hope and not fear, of thoughtfulness and not ignorance. We need you to be great Senator Kerry. Election day is less than six weeks away!