Around the Hill: You Are Stuck on an Island, Which NFL Player(s) Do You Bring?

By Matt Gentile, Assistant National Sports Editor

With a provocative question such as this, there are many directions I could go with my answer. At first, I thought I needed someone who will entertain me on this island. But after more thought, I quickly wised up and realized I need to prioritize a player who will increase my chances of survival the most. With this in mind, the answer is easy: Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck. 

Luck is commonly thought of as one of the smartest players in the NFL, in large part because he attended Stanford University. My strongest piece of evidence for choosing Luck is not where he went to school, but what he studied while there. Aside from tearing it up on the field, Luck managed to graduate with a degree in architectural design. This would certainly come in handy when building a shelter or the raft that we would use to escape (think Tom Hank’s character in Cast Away). There isn’t anyone I’d trust more than Luck and his Stanford architecture degree.

There are other players in the NFL that also carry around the reputation of being a smart guy. Ryan Fitzpatrick, current backup quarterback on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, holds the record for the Wonderlic test (a sort of IQ test taken during the NFL Draft combine). However, he does not bring the winning attitude and leadership qualities that Luck’s teammates and coaches have praised. 

My one hesitation with my selection is Andrew Luck’s lack of technological prowess. It is a commonly known fact that he still uses a flip phone, so he would not be much help in any attempt to create a radio signal to call for help (think Lost Season 3). 

By Ethan Marchetti, Maroon-News Staff 

First of all, I would want my dream team of island companions to include someone with wisdom and knowledge, and I think Ryan Fitzpatrick is a perfect match.  The Harvard graduate and current Buccaneers quarterback is no stranger to high pressure situations, both on and off the field.  Fitzpatrick even scored a 48 out of 50 on the Wonderlic test, an IQ exam administered to NFL rookies.  With all of these academic and intellectual accolades, I think that Fitzmagic would be a valuable source of knowledge and decision making to have on a deserted island.

A second player I would like to be stranded with is definitely James Harrison.  The “brawn” to Fitzpatrick’s “brains,” Harrison could be our tough guy on the island.  If you have ever seen any of his workout videos on Instagram, you know that this man is an absolute beast.  Harrison is a physical force, and his insane strength would definitely come in handy on the island, especially when fending off wild animals.

Last but definitely not least is Marshawn Lynch. To round out my island dream team, I would want someone with some real survival knowledge and experience. Lynch actually appeared as a celebrity guest on “Running Wild” with adventurist Bear Grylls, so hopefully he would have picked up some useful tips to help us survive.  At the very least, Lynch would serve as a hilarious addition to the team, and he would hopefully bring enough Skittles for us to survive for a while. 

By David Minster, Senior Sports Manager

If I was stuck on an island with three NFL players, the first person I’d choose would be Browns’ center Joe Thomas. One of the best centers in the league, Thomas is extremely protective of his quarterback, even though that changes multiple times per season. I’d hope that he’d be equally as protective of me on a remote island. Also, he recently played his 10,000 consecutive snap, demonstrating how durable he is even in the worst situations, which, in his case, is playing for the Browns. 

The second player I’d choose would be star wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. Odell would be in charge of catching fish because the man can catch ANYTHING. As one of the best wide receivers in the league, Odell has a history of beating islands, especially former crosstown-rival and long-time Jet Darrelle “Revis Island” Revis. 

The final man on the island is Marshawn Lynch. How did Marshawn end up on an island? He has no clue, and he’s alright with that. Our island morale will never be higher, especially if he keeps up his positive attitude from Sunday’s win over the Jets. Our diet will consist of Odell’s Catch-of-the-Day and Marshawn’s Skittles, getting all of our daily vitamins and minerals. Having a core of Joe Thomas, Odell Beckham Jr. and Marshawn Lynch will not only allow me to survive, but thrive on this island. I’m just  hoping that Goodell doesn’t show up and ruin all our fun.