Minus the City: It’s Complicated

I like to think that there is nothing as awkward as an “it’s complicated” situation. I say that, but I continually find myself in such situations, so at this point, I would like to assert myself as the “it’s complicated” expert–a hell of a title, but not a good one at that. 

For those not as well versed in “it’s complicated” situations, consider yourself quite fortunate, and let me explain. An “it’s complicated” situation falls between a relationship and a hook-up. There’s not really any name for that kind of relationship–hence, it’s complicated. To add to this recipe, if you would like to make it really complicated, let’s add another snag to this, let’s say if it’s a friend’s ex, a friend’s brother and so on. This is a college environment, so it may be the girl across the hall, or the cute boy who sits next to you in your 10-person class. Maybe there are multiple people involved of interest in such a situation–who are you going to chose? So many options! Let your imagination run wild with whatever could make the situation more awkward, or tense. Just make it so it really, really, can’t be easy. 

Now that I have given you the recipe for the ideal “it’s complicated” situation, I have to wonder, what happens at the end? A byproduct is having had an almost-relationship with someone. What do you call them when it ends? An ex of sorts? How does it end? You can’t “break up,” as how can you break up a relationship that never really existed in the first place? But, contrary to it being just a hook-up, you can’t pretend that you don’t know them–after all, that’s what makes it so complicated. Supposedly, they fade over time, or just simply even out. 

The bottom line is that it’s quite apparent that complication gets old after a while. But many of us keep finding ourselves in these situations. So yes, it’s fun. For a while you feel like you are in a romantic comedy, right? Think of the songs about “it’s complicated,” the many episodes of “Gossip Girl” based on Blair and Chuck’s complicated relationship, or even one of my personal favorite romantic comedies, “It’s Complicated,” starring Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. All of these highlight the appeal of complicated situations, but also deal with the masochistic element of it–who enjoys being so undefined? 

To me, “it’s complicated”used to be the Facebook status that some of my melodramatic classmates in middle school and high school would use just to keep people wondering. Who is it with? What’s going on? These are questions that keep us invested as spectators. As for the person publicizing their relationship, as people born in an age of increased solipsism, we grow to love that curiosity. It’s fun to keep people guessing. That is, until you realize you don’t even know the answers to their questions. So, how about we go and get answers to those questions–for ourselves, much to the dismay of our spectators.  While not necessarily providing rom-com material, the peace of mind just may be worth it.