“All that is constant about the California of my childhood is the rate at which it disappears,” Joan Didion wrote in “Where I Was From.”

There is a particular grief that belongs to the Californian in exile. It arrives without warning, in the middle of March, when the sky outside has been the same shade of grey for three months and the wind has a bite that feels personal. You find yourself not just missing the sun but mourning it. You have in mind a specific version of a place that may no longer exist as you remember it. Food is the most reliable vehicle for this kind of nostalgia. It bypasses the intellect entirely and goes straight to the body, to some cellular memory of being young and uncomplicated. 

For those raised in Southern California, every local knows the In-N-Out ritual: an instinctual detour to the one on Sepulveda right next to LAX, the red-and-white logo appearing on the horizon like a landmark. 

The most quintessential order — the Double-Double Animal Style — comes with two thin beef patties cooked on a mustard-seared griddle, two slices of melted American cheese, a pile of slow-caramelized chopped onions, dill pickles, fresh tomato, iceberg lettuce and the famous sauce that works on everything it touches. 

The secret menu runs deeper than most people know. There is the Flying Dutchman, named for Guy Snyder, son of the founders and a drag racer of some repute: just two patties with two slices of cheese melted between them. There is no bun and no ceremony, just the Platonic ideal of the thing. 

Last summer, my friends and I had a craving for SoCal that had metastasized during our time out East for school. Feeling particularly self-sufficient and ambitious, we gathered ingredients, cleared a Saturday afternoon and set out to make the iconic In-N-Out meal ourselves. 

Admittedly, I don’t eat red meat, so for my own burger, I made the grilled cheese, which was nearly identical to the real thing. My carnivorous friends declared the Double-Double almost a replica. Almost. There is definitely something In-N-Out does that cannot be fully explained or replicated at home, but “almost” is still high praise. The real work here is the sauce and the caramelized onions. The onions take 25 minutes of patient stirring over medium heat, and they cannot be rushed. The sauce comes together in under two minutes and will change the way you think about condiments. When the burgers are done, wrap them in parchment if you have it. In-N-Out wraps everything in parchment, and the ritual matters. Fold over the top edge. 

INGREDIENTS

The Sauce 

• 3 tbsp (45 ml) mayonnaise 
• 1 tbsp (15 ml) ketchup 
• 2 tsp (10 g) sweet pickle relish 
• ½ tsp sugar 
• ½ tsp distilled white vinegar 

The Caramelized Onions 

• 1 tbsp vegetable oil or butter 
• 1 large onion, very finely chopped (about 1½ cups / 150 g) 
• Fine sea salt 

The Patties (makes 2 burgers) 

• 225g (8 oz) fresh beef chuck, 80/20 fat ratio
•  ¼ cup (60 ml) yellow mustard, for the griddle
• Fine sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 4 slices deli-cut American cheese 

To Assemble (per burger) 

• 1 soft hamburger bun, preferably Arnold or Martin’s potato roll 
• 4 dill pickle chips 
• 1 quarter-inch-thick slice ripe tomato
• 1 leaf fresh iceberg lettuce, torn to bun size)
• Vegetable oil, for toasting 

For the Grilled Cheese (vegetarian) 

• 1 soft hamburger bun 
• 4 slices of American cheese 
• All toppings above (sauce, pickles, tomato and lettuce) 

METHOD 

1. Make the sauce first. Whisk together the mayonnaise, ketchup, sweet pickle relish, sugar and white vinegar in a small bowl until completely smooth. Cover and refrigerate while you work on everything else — it keeps for a week and improves overnight. 
2. Make the caramelized onions. Heat the oil or butter in a wide pan over medium heat. Add the onions and a generous pinch of salt. Cook, stirring frequently, for 25–30 minutes. Do not rush this. The onions should go from white to translucent to golden to a deep amber-brown, with a texture like soft, sweet jam. If they start to catch, add a splash of water and lower the heat. Transfer to a bowl when done. 
3. Prepare the patties. Divide the beef into four equal portions of about 55g (2 oz) each. Roll each portion gently into a ball — do not overwork the meat. Season generously with salt and pepper on both sides. 
4. Heat a cast-iron skillet or heavy griddle over high heat until very hot. Add a thin film of oil. Place the beef balls in the pan, leaving space between them, and immediately smash each one firmly with a wide spatula or burger press until they are very thin — about ¼ inch thick. Cook for one to two minutes until the edges are brown and lacy. 
5. Apply the mustard: flip each patty and quickly squirt or spread about a teaspoon of yellow mustard onto the just-cooked top of each patty. The mustard will hit the hot griddle and caramelize into the meat, adding a low, tangy sweetness. Cook for another one to two minutes. In the last 30 seconds, lay a slice of American cheese on each patty and cover the pan briefly to melt. 
6. Toast the buns in the same pan over medium heat with a little butter or oil, cut-side down, until golden. 
7. Assemble. Spread a generous layer of sauce on the bottom bun. Add the pickles, then the lettuce, then the tomato. Place the first cheesy patty on top. Add a spoonful of caramelized onions. Add the second cheesy patty. Add another spoonful of onions. Spread sauce on the top bun and close the burger. 
8. For the grilled cheese: lay all four slices of cheese on the bottom bun in the still-warm pan and let them melt gently. Add onions, pickles, tomato, lettuce and plenty of sauce. Close and press lightly. 
9. Wrap in parchment if you have it. Rest for one minute. Eat immediately.