Editor’s Column: Be Careful What You Wish For



It’s a few days after fall break. You suddenly realize, much to your despair, that you’re expected to go back to class, back to work, back to midterms and mandatory events, as if your slight taste of freedom had never occurred. The unfairness of it all seems paramount. You wish for nothing more than to go back home and sleep for two weeks.

Be careful what you wish for.

Or at least, I should have been more careful — perhaps less with what I was wishing for and more with the chicken cutlets I was attempting to cook the afternoon I somehow managed to set a skillet on fire and burn a significant part of my arm and hands. Fire drills no longer seem an eye-roll inducing exercise when you’re awaiting Campus Safety in a crazed panic, hoping you haven’t managed to burn down all of Newell 3. Luckily, I didn’t burn down a building, but my relief was short lived when I suddenly found myself in an ambulance on my way to Syracuse.

Injuries are never pretty, but I have a newfound respect for all of the people I see hobbling around on their crutches or even those unfortunate Swine Flu victims Campus Safety was shuttling around campus with their surgical masks last year. I only lasted a few days on campus before I ran away home, but those days were unfortunate ones. I couldn’t have asked for warmer well wishes and advice. In case you were wondering, burn victims get a lot of, “Oh, that’s so horrible! Do you want to know what you’re supposed to do when a grease fire breaks out?” “Sure, because it’s of so much use to me now. I’d like to see what you do when faced with flames.” Yes, I’m a little bit of a bitter burn victim.

However, Colgate is not geographically friendly for those of us in various states of ail­ment. During the three days I spent here, I was only allowed to go to the Health Center, but you’d be surprised how difficult it is to get to that little nook of a building when certain parts of you are charred.

So what have I learned throughout this whole experience? Many things, as you might not be surprised to hear. Firstly, the Department of Women’s Studies has a good point: women do not belong in the kitchen. Look at what happens to them in there! Secondly, Campus Safety may come to a shrieking halt in front of your dorm in Hollywood car-zooming fashion when it’s just a drill, but when it’s not … yeah, you might want to give them a call. Turns out, they have less motivation on a random Thursday afternoon. And lastly, of course, impromptu trips home are not always all that they’re cracked up to be.

It may seem like a great idea when you’re closeted up in the library, seriously consider­ing tossing your books out the nearest window in a fit of momentary rage, but don’t be so quick to desecrate academic paraphernalia. You can get sick of home, too. There are worse things than a bit of academic stress. You could be a burn victim.