Minus the City: The Old Ball and Chain



I’m sorry ladies. I know a lot of you are going to be disappointed by this, but this guy is in a committed relationship. Yes, the stars have aligned and my bitterness has seemingly dissipated. But it wasn’t always like this. No, my relationship with that special someone has gone through many trials and levels. But we’ve all been there. We hooked up with someone and have found that things end up going a little further than we ever expected them to. Sometimes they go a lot further. But that seems to be how relationships happen now. At Colgate, it’s no real secret that the date is dead and with that, so is that idea of the relationship we used to know. Honestly, if we’re going to keep griping about the hook-up culture so much, we might as well look at the benefits of it.

If much of the Colgate population is like me, then you are straight up afraid of the traditional relationship. The commitment, the hand-holding and the label are all things that just make people quiver. We feel constrained by something, and no one wants to feel like we’re caught in the corner. Back in high school, that’s all we had. But, thanks to the magic of college and experimentation, we have some other options. Pretty much the most basic level of a relationship now is the consistent hook-up. After a while, we find ourselves coming back to the same person over and over again. Not like friends with benefits though. See, that’s almost a purely physical thing that we mainly do out of convenience. That’s the situation where only one person gets hurt. No, I’m talking about those times when we find someone we like and the feelings are mutual and you’re hooking up be­cause you both want to. We just have trouble articulating our feelings because we’re too afraid of a negative reaction. It sucks at first but it has some major positives. It’s much more relaxed. We feel more comfortable around the person and we don’t have to worry about old-fashioned boundaries and standards. We are free to set up our own rules that will ultimately make the couple happier in the long run. The same goes for the exit strategy as well. A break-up is way less severe. With your own rules in place, you’re free to let things drift apart. Also the lack of labels and set definitions makes things just that much easier.

Now I’m not saying that a real old timey boyfriend-girlfriend situation is impossible. In fact, it’s probably better now thanks to that ambiguous other stage. By going through those motions, it’s easier to be in a better, healthier relationship. At this point, you’ve already gone through emotional hurdles and establishments of rules. You don’t have to deal with a lot of the drama. You don’t have to rush into something that you may not have been ready for in the first place. Ultimately, it’s just better. So everyone, please stop complaining about your exclusive hook-up being weird or you not liking the fact that you don’t know what to call your relationship. Just sit tight and hold up. It’s more than likely it’ll end up being exactly what you want it to be.