Letter to the Editor: Add the Integrity – A Response to Minus the City

 

 

I’ll be honest; I used to pay absolutely no attention to the Minus the City column written by Mat Nittman and Ben Shope. After reading it the first week of the semester, I wrote it off as nonsense. Things changed when the by-line read BJ 101; the pieces that I originally marked as nonsense were now marked as beyond offensive.

Regardless of the seriousness of the article, the message that the article sends is completely wrong. Essentially, Nittman and Shope claim that Colgate students (and everyone else for that matter) should practice the “oral arts” as often as possible and as diligently as possible in order to be “accomplished” as sexual beings. They go even farther to claim that those that are somewhat “accomplished” in the “oral arts” need more practice in order to be considered satisfactory.

And for women, swallowing is “standard.” How disgusting! Their article is not only degrading, but also sends a message that doesn’t have a single shred of positive sexuality.

Positive sexuality is something we are struggling to achieve on Colgate’s campus. In the aftermath of the Campus Climate Life Survey, it is hard for one to dispute that messages of positive sexuality are needed on this campus in order to establish a more comfortable atmosphere. It is impossible to expect that everyone is going to wake up tomorrow morning and choose abstinence over sleeping with that hot person from class.

However, Colgate faculty and students can choose to start sending messages of positive sexuality that encourages students to approach any sort of intimate relations in a positive, safe and respectable way towards oneself and one’s partner.

Nittman and Shope seem to encourage the opposite; their article does not address anything regarding safety or respect. The claims can be interpreted insofar as to say: Always expect to give your one night stand, consistent hook-up or significant other a blow job. Or always expect to receive oral sex even if you don’t really want it. It doesn’t matter if the message is meant to be a joke; it will still be a message that will leave an impression on a lot of peoples’ minds.

I leave you all with a few questions to ponder. If you were Buttercup or Prince Charming, how would you feel about the following?

How would you feel about giving and/or receiving a blowjob in public?

Would you be comfortable with oral sex despite the fact that you know nothing about the other’s sexual history (including the possibility that the other person might have an STI)? Where’s the condom? Would you use one? Make smart decisions. Practice positive sexuality. Don’t do anything when you are questioning the decision or feeling force or pressure from your partner.