Minus the City: Talking Sex

While visiting a friend over the summer, I was introduced to a podcast titled “Guys We F—-,” the self-proclaimed “anti-slut shaming” podcast run by Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson. While I’ve only gotten a brief peek into their library of episodes, I know that the two women bring on men they have had intimate relationships with—as well as sex industry experts and other comedians—to discuss sex and relationships in raunchy, self-deprecating and sometimes existential ways.

The first time I listened to the ladies of ‘Guys We F—-,” I was walking to a workout class on a Sunday morning. I popped my earbuds in, grabbed my water bottle and wallet and began a trek down L Street in D.C. The podcast made me laugh and gasp as Fisher and Hutchinson interviewed their first guest. All the people I passed by were none the wiser that I was listen- ing to a woman talk about her boyfriend’s porn star ex-girlfriend or two partners’ opinions on choking during sex. The experience was refreshing, and I was always looking for refreshment in the sticky D.C. summer. It has since turned into my most listened to podcast of 2018 (thanks for the stats, Spotify).

Why is it so refreshing? Because it is rare to listen to people talk so openly and honestly about their sexual experiences, using the crude terminology that you might use with your best friend. It is probably even more rare to hear people discuss their sex lives with former and cur- rent sexual partners. No topic is too taboo, and the speakers and guests are not afraid to be emotionally raw. The podcasts have covered prostate “milking,” monogamy, sex while animals are in the room, devastating heartbreak, squirting, period sex, sex work and more. While acceptance and comfort when discussing sex has certainly increased over the years, all too often what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. And it shouldn’t. People have questions about sex that they should be able to ask and have answered! People have wants and needs that should be communicated! If the people did not want this, how could you explain why Fisher and Hutchinson have been on the air for four years, have been highlighted in various media sources and have a following of hundreds of thousands of people across the globe?

While Corinne and Krystyna try not to yuck anyone’s yum or judge their guests for their sexual experiences and desires, that doesn’t mean the podcast is free of problematic discourses. From repeatedly calling women w—-s to making racial generalizations and endorsing stereotypes, these white women are not the ideal feminist icons that one might wish them to be. However, now that I know an entire genre which is dedicated to the topics of sex, relationships and physical and emotional intimacy exists, I can scope out other related podcasts. There are many, including ones that take a more educational and scientific approach to the topics, and others produced by news media agencies or sex educators.

I thank my dear friend for expanding my collection of podcasts (Will I ever make it through them all? Unlikely) and exposing me to a world of open, sex-positive conversations outside of Yes Means Yes. While it is different listening to others than having your own conversations, it has proven to be a refreshing experience I crave, and I believe others do too. I am always looking for new recommendations, or a nice book club-esque community for podcast related discussions so, my peers, keep me updated!

Contact Kira Palmer at [email protected]