Lubrication. If there’s one thing I took away from the “I <3 Female Orgasm” workshop last Tuesday, it’s that you can never have too much of it, and slap any-one who tells you otherwise. From cunni-lingus, to kegel exercises, to that ever-elu-sive, often thought of as mythical nether region known as the “G-Spot,” sex educa-tors Marshall Miller and Rebecca Chalker guided the audience through a whirlwind of topics in a lengthy, but informative and fun, two-hour talk.

Appropriately, everyone filed into Love auditorium to the musical ingeniuty of David Banner’s “Play” and Snoop Dogg’s “Sexual Seduction” (also known as “Sexual ‘Eruption'”). I immediately noticed the dis-proportionate number of females to males within the crowd. Although most of the guys slipped in last minute, just in time to hide themselves in the seats tucked away in the back, 15 minutes past the intended start time, the ratio had evened out somewhat. It soon became clear where the direction of our conversation would be going.

Greeted by an enthusiastic round of ap-plause and cheerful whooping and shout-ing from the audience, Marshall and Re-becca were eager to begin. They started off by showing that famous scene from When Harry Met Sally, where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm right in the middle of a crowded restaurant as onlookers gawk in amazement. With the help of the seminar, they assured us that women near and far, gay, straight or otherwise, short, tall and in between, black, white or brown, would finally learn how to stop “faking it,” and actually “make it.” But, coincidentally, less than 10 minutes into the program, an all-too-ironic occurrence took place just when things were heating up that had us all thinking it had to be scripted: the fire alarm went off right as Rebecca Chalker was at the climax of the steamy account of the night she lost her virginity to her col-lege boyfriend. After standing out in the cold for 15 minutes, we were eager to get things up and going again.

Soon enough, everyone had masturba-tion on the mind. As we discussed it as one of the main ways to achieve the female or-gasm, our speakers pointed out that only about half of women have had orgasms by the time they are 15, and most of these are innocent, “I accidentally rubbed up against something,” moments of pleasure that just felt too good to stop prematurely. The take-home message from Miller and Chalker was that the female orgasm, com-pared to that of the male, is far more dif-ficult to achieve. But, whether you decide to use your vibrating massager or the new best friend who is your hand, going at it alone, at least some of the time, can only have positive effects.

After the men came back from their sep-arate group session with Miller, promoting positive sexuality and positive body image among women was next on the agenda. This segment was a necessary one because of the pressure women often feel to look like the unrealistic images they see in me-dia and in pornography, often making one feel disfigured or self-conscious about their individual lady parts. The talk segued into cultural views on the purity of women, and classroom sex education that teaches females to be prepared to “just say no,” but does not prepare women for the time when they are ready to say “yes” and how to get the most pleasure out of this experi-ence. Men, on the other hand, learn a lot of what they know from pornography and are encouraged to try it all out. Lastly, oral intercourse using varying types of stimula-tion was discussed as almost every couple’s go-to method of not only reaching orgasm, but multiple orgasms.

“I learned a lot from the talk. It was in-teresting to know that a lot of women have not experienced orgasms although they’ve been sexually active for years. Hope is not lost. Talking about different methods of female stimulation helps women learn more about their bodies and become more assertive, sexual beings,” junior Jennifer Uribe said.

I left the seminar wondering just how many people in attendance were on their way to go try out some of their newly ac-quired knowledge on the ways to reach the big “O.” With those handy tips, I guaran-tee some of the fire alarms that went off in dorms across campus this week weren’t from what you thought they were.

Contact Bridget Sheppard at

[email protected].