This Week at the Movies: Clash of the Titans

Remakes of films are wonderful ideas in concept. They draw upon a former idea or vision and expand upon it, hoping to make it better than the original. However, whether it is because of a loyal fan base or haphazard reinterpretation of a story, the original is almost always better. Clash of the Titans, directed by Louis Leterrier and written by Travis Beacham, Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi, doesn’t even come close to capturing the magic of the stop-motion original. What the viewer does get is a mix of mundane action sequences and probably some of the worst dialogue ever penned by a human being. While it has its moments of excitement and can be entertaining at times, this movie is nothing short of being a dud.

The movie is a retelling of the Greek myth of Perseus (Sam Worthington), the half-human son of Zeus. After an extremely brief introduction to the story and characters, the viewer is thrown into the action when Hades kills Perseus’ human family. He is taken in by the soldiers of Argos, who have decided to wage war against the gods whom they believe have abandoned them. Angered by their insolence, Hades appears with a prophecy: in ten days he will release the Kraken, a mythical sea beast of extraordinary strength, unless they sacrifice Princess Andromeda. The King then convinces Perseus to save the city and defeat the Kraken. Reading this now, I bet you’d think this was a pretty cool movie, right? I assure you, you are very wrong. The pacing of the film itself moves so fast, it’s sometimes hard to tell exactly what’s going on. It’s hard for a movie to have an epic feel when the plot goes too fast for anyone to understand. The dialogue can be summed up in a single quote, “Perseus, you’re not just part man, part god. You’re the best of both!” The entire movie is written like this. One wouldn’t expect the highest quality writing from an action movie, but it seems like they didn’t even try. Not even the action could save this movie. Most scenes are your standard bland battle of man versus CGI monster and anticlimactic doesn’t even begin to describe the battle with the Kraken. There’s much here to save this ship.

If there is one thing that makes this movie bearable, it is the monsters. The mythical beasts of antiquity are creatively and tastefully rendered from the mind that brought us Hell Boy and Pan’s Labyrinth. Besides that, there’s not much else that’s very striking about the movie. The score is the same orchestral sound you can find in almost any movie and the same goes for the cinematography. All and all, this movie is the antithesis of innovative.

Unless you’re one of those people who enjoys laughing at bad movies, stay clear of Clash of the Titans. Unless you have no other movie to see and that ten dollars is just burning a hole in your pocket. The fact of the matter is, this movie is so similar to a variety of other action movies, you could have the same experience cycling through your DVD library at home. Save yourself some time and money and just decide to sit this one out.