Valentine’s Day Your Way

Just picture it— a rose petal strewn pathway beckons you towards a quaint terrace overlooking the Pacific. A pair of playful dolphins slice through the endless waves as you make your way down the winding path. A table for two awaits, surrounded by a sea of flickering votive candles. The sun bids you farewell as it drops below the horizon; vibrant reds and soft pinks paint the sky, turning it into an Instagram-worthy masterpiece. Of course, the meal itself is divine: the filet mignon and creamy risotto have undoubtedly been prepared by a Michelin star chef. The dessert, chocolate covered strawberries topped with freshly whipped cream, leaves you feeling light as air. As you gaze across the table at your wonderful date, melting beneath the warmth of their gaze, you realize that this just might be the best night of your life. And yet, something seems off. You think to yourself, have we been listening to pop music this whole time? At the beginning of the night, you distinctly remember appreciating the way that the smooth jazz mingled with the hush of the crashing waves to create a timeless melody. You quickly make a mental note to add some Jazz to your “Date Night” playlist. But now, an upbeat Beyoncé song is definitely blasting from some unknown source, disturbing the serenity of the moonlit night. 

As Beyoncé continues to interrogate you, reality comes crashing down like a hammer. What a shame. You were really, really enjoying that dream. A quick glance at your phone reminds you that it is Tuesday. But, alas, it is not just any Tuesday. Today is Tuesday, Feb. 14. It is officially Valentine’s Day. Well, that explains why there is an open carton of half-melted Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Ice Cream precariously perched on top of your minifridge— at least it didn’t spill.

Oh, Valentine’s Day. Is it your favorite holiday? The only commonly acceptable answer to that question is a resounding “no.” Unless you’ve been shot by one of Cupid’s arrows, which sounds horribly painful, you deal with Valentine’s Day in one of two ways. You are either a “let’s all pretend this holiday doesn’t exist and move on with our lives” kind of person or a “this holiday is a capitalist scam designed to make me buy way too much chocolate and watch way too many cheesy rom-coms just so that I don’t feel sad and alone” kind of person. The former is what all single people wish that they could be. The latter, unfortunately, is what we all end up becoming every year on the fourteenth of February. Let’s explore the latter.

Technically speaking, there is nothing wrong with hiding from the world under a mountain of blankets or going through an entire box of tissues in the span of three hours or eating several boxes of specialty chocolates (unless you’re allergic to chocolate). After all, you are the author of your own story. But this year, maybe, just maybe, you are hoping for something more from your Valentine’s Day. If that is the case, you have come to the right place.

Over the last decade or so, alternative holidays such as Galentine’s Day and National Single Awareness Day (yes, it really exists) have been gaining popularity. These holidays serve as the perfect opportunity for you to celebrate your independence. This year, there are plenty of ways to customize your Valentine-free experience. If you want to keep things simple, head on down to Hamilton for some cheesy pizza at Slices or one of Maxwells’ infamous shakes. Just be sure to avoid eye contact with any happy couples who request two straws for their shake. For those who prefer to stay up the hill, Frank is whipping up a nice spread of student favorites from a select menu for dinner on Feb. 15. If you’re interested in scoring some free goodies, Frank is also hosting a self-care giveaway during lunch on Feb. 16. If food and material objects won’t be able to fill the person-sized void in your life, head over to the Coop on Feb. 14 to be serenaded by the Colgate Thirteen. Their angelic voices are sure to take your mind off the massive bouquet of roses that has yet to be delivered to your doorstep. Of course, you could always opt for a movie marathon with your best buddies. After reading this article and snagging a hefty box of chocolates from Price Chopper, you are undoubtedly prepared to watch “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” without shedding a single tear. It’s about time that you celebrated Valentine’s Day on your own terms.